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A Love Story: Mending a Relationship with Yourself

You cannot love someone else without first loving yourself. While that’s surely easier said than done, there are small, easy ways to foster an abundant relationship with yourself that can lead to growth in your relationships with others. Through finding time to do something for yourself each day, you’ll be more at peace with who you are and more at peace with others, too. Whether you set aside ten minutes each day for a walk, five minutes for a gratitude exercise, or two minutes for deep breaths, it makes no difference. In the end, your mind will be extremely happy that you did. 

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Find Time for Yourself

In order to show up for others, you have to first show up for yourself. This is one of the most challenging, and rewarding, lessons that I’ve learned throughout my time at Stanford. During my sophomore year, I felt overextended and burnt out. I was constantly shuffling between class, club basketball, women’s basketball practice, and one of my handful of on-campus jobs, leaving minimal time to do something kind for myself. Don’t get me wrong, when I say “do something kind for myself,” I don’t necessarily mean going out for a meal off-campus or spending hours hiking the Dish. 

During that point in my Stanford career, I barely had time to relax during my showers or even go on a ten-minute walk. Eventually, I realized that my lifestyle was not a sustainable one. I learned that to be fully present in my relationships with others, my extracurriculars, and my classes, I had to first be able to be fully present in my relationship with myself. If I didn’t make an adjustment, I knew I’d flounder. 

I learned that I needed to start each day with a quick five-minute meditation and find ten minutes each afternoon to go for a walk without my phone. Telling myself that each activity was just for a few minutes helped me put things into perspective. Everyone- including the busiest people- can find five minutes to do something kind for themselves. It’s only five minutes! Eventually, you can work your way up to finding ten or even thirty minutes to have time that’s yours and only yours. Doing so will help you feel at peace with yourself and at peace with others too.

 

Written by: Chase Klavon, Class of 2025

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