When we think of grief, it is common to only think of it in the context of death. Grief extends beyond death, it can occur in life transitions, major internal shifts, changes in a relationship, etc… This article focuses on Cherrial's personal experience and reminders around grief, reflecting on the death anniversary of a loved one.
Honoring My Grief
I’m writing this as someone who has felt grief in many aspects of my life. This past week, I just navigated the death anniversary of my dad. I always take intentional time this time of year to reflect on him and our relationship. It brought up many feelings: gratitude, sadness, guilt, and regret. I thought about how it’s my senior year and how he wasn’t physically around for my Stanford experience, that he won’t be physically there for my graduation. But as I was able to take space to cry and get in touch with those feelings, I left feeling more connected to him, like a piece of him is always with me and sometimes my grief helps bring me closer to him.
When we think of grief, often we think of death, but grief shows up in so many forms: the end of a friendship, a breakup, a major life transition, a change in identity, etc… Grief can occur anywhere change happens. I have experienced various forms of grief, but most recently find myself feeling the grief around my dad and reflecting on that relationship.
If you find yourself navigating grief as well, here are a few reminders from my experience:
Grief Looks Different for Everyone
For some people, grief feels like sadness. For others, it looks like anger, guilt, numbness, or even relief. There’s no “right” way to grieve, no timeline or checklist to follow. You might feel okay one moment and overwhelmed with emotions the next. That’s normal. Honor those feelings, take space to reflect, and seek support.
Let Yourself Feel It
Grief asks us to slow down and listen to ourselves. For me that might mean crying, listening to music that reminds me of my dad, journaling, creating art, looking at old photos/videos, or taking a quiet walk. It might mean saying no to social plans or leaning on friends who can hold space. Healing isn’t about “moving on,” it’s about making peace with what has changed. I have found that when I allow myself to embrace my grief and actively engage with it, I actually feel more connected to my dad.
You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone
Talking about grief can feel hard, but sharing it lightens the weight. For myself, I actually find talking about it helps the feelings move through me. When I talk about my dad, I might cry, but I also feel so much more connected to him through it. Just this week, I was able to reach out to my support system and process the feelings I was having. You might reach out to a counselor, a peer support group, or a trusted mentor. Sometimes just saying, “I miss…” opens the door to connection.
If you’re on campus, remember there are resources here to help— like Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), Well-Being Coaching, and the Bridge Peer Counseling Center. Support looks different for everyone; seeking it is an act of courage and self-care.
Holding Space for Healing
Grief isn’t something to fix; it’s something to feel. So as this season unfolds, try to honor your grief with compassion. Light a candle, share a story, or sit quietly with a memory. It’s not only okay, but absolutely necessary to slow down and make space for healing.
Whether you are grieving or not, just know that there are so many tools and support systems out there to support your well-being.
Written by: Cherrial Odell, Class of 2026
Resources
Stanford Resources
- Counseling and Psychological Services: Stanford’s licensed mental health professionals provide 24/7 crisis support and counseling services.
- Well-Being Coaching: Work with a supportive partner to design your own vision for well-being.
- Grief Support at Stanford: List of resources available to Stanford students, staff, and affiliates who are experiencing grief.
- Mental Health Resources at Stanford: Your go-to hub for navigating the many mental health and well-being resources at Stanford.
- Office for Religious and Spiritual Life: On-campus office dedicated to accessible religious and spiritual practice with dedicated times to drop in with chaplains.
- TimelyCare: Virtual mental and medical care services for enrolled students. First twelve free therapy sessions provided by Stanford for those seeking counseling.
- Faculty Staff Help Center: Offers a range of services to support faculty and staff health and well-being.
- Community and Belonging at Stanford: Explore the vibrant student communities on campus!
- Student Grief and Loss Gathering: A safe space to share your experiences, suggestions, and concerns with others in a safe and supportive environment.