The word success is everywhere- our culture is built on it. Failure is a word not to be spoken or admitted. Yet, we all inevitably face it. When we frame our efforts as simply “receiving X is success”, we set ourselves up in a success/fail binary outcome. But, what if we reframed failure as a guide, the torch to success? Indeed, it is only with the resistance built from failure that we are truly able to succeed.
Reframing Success
When I first came to Stanford, I was used to always succeeding (at least for the most part). Academic validation was something I sought and craved- my arrival at Stanford had sealed the ultimate stamp of approval. But, it did not take long for me to open assignments, not know how to do them, and receive grades that I did not want. Granted, some of my frustration was toxic perfectionism. But, ultimately, I was not performing the way I wanted to. I put off taking certain classes because I thought I would do bad. Why even bother if I’m not already good at it?
The most humbling experience was my accelerated Russian course- truly tortuous. With a language class, where you speak with one another everyday, I could not hide behind online assignments or a paper grade. When I came to class, I stumbled. I mispronounced words and struggled to read out loud when it was my turn. I was embarrassed, and instinctively wanted to drop out. But, this was for the university’s one year language requirement. And, while I did not know it at the time, the major I would end up choosing (International Relations) actually requires two years of a language. Regardless, I was not getting out of the gulag (that is Russian grammar). I put in tons of extra hours, working to actually speak and learn the language. At the end of the year, I had gotten As and placed in an intermediate proficiency. The cliche was true- it actually felt amazingly rewarding to hear a full sentence come out of my mouth.
Up until that point, I thought that all of my success was due to a lack of failing. But, in reality, it was the numerous failures that ultimately led to my successes. Reality is: you are going to fail. Sometimes it’s failing to wake up on time or meet a daily goal. I may have gotten a good grade in AP Physics 2, but can I tell you anything besides force equals mass times acceleration? No- I’m a failure in my physics knowledge. Currently, I am in my second year of Russian- and I am still struggling! But, I changed the class to pass/fail and realized that while taking the hardest language class I have yet, I am also the most proficient in it that I have ever been.
Success is not a destination or end goal- it is ever evolving as you do too. If you are not failing, then are you truly growing, progressing, or exploring? Better yet, reflect on this: did or do you ever regret trying, or not trying more? Not trying, not giving yourself the chance to grow, is automatic failure. Any percent, any effort is above 0. What percent will you put into yourself?
Written by: Chavi Coy, Class of 2026
Resources
Stanford Resources
- Well- Being Coaching: Work with a supportive partner to design your own vision for well-being. Figure out what you want and need at this phase of your life. Move through uncertainty with a trusted guide. Sign Up for a Coaching
- Mental Health Resources at Stanford: Your go-to hub for mental health and well-being resources for Stanford students. Whether you're looking for tips to build your self-care routine, ways to manage stress, advice on supporting a friend, or just someone to talk to, you’re in the right place. From counseling services and peer support programs to workshops and wellness activities, you have a wealth of options at your fingertips. You are not alone.