The Flourish, February 2022
Supporting the well-being of all students at Stanford
What do you like on your pizza? This month's edition of The Flourish highlights relationships, sexual health and sexuality while offering tools to support our journey. We start with tips on how to grow in our relationships by creating a culture of consent and learning about our (and others') boundaries. Through the acknowledgement and respect of our relationships and communities, we can further foster healthy relationships with ourselves and those closest to us. Take time to check out the Trans Resource Guide and other tools which offer support and resources to support our well-being and flourishing.
Let’s explore these areas together.
Speaking of ruptures, all gardeners must spend some time weeding and pruning, which refers to conflict management in this metaphor. Unprocessed conflict can lead to resentment which can overtake a garden like a vine growing out of control, strangling other plants or blocking access to water or light. “How do I know if my relationship is healthy?” is a question that many ask. The answer is quite complicated.
The good news is that there are thousands of books and videos on relationships based on some very good research- why not check them out for yourself? In the meantime, apply the garden metaphor to your relationships and it just may shine some light on your inquiries and help you and your partner(s) to grow together.
Donnovan Somera Yisrael, ‘89, Well-Being at Stanford
Resources to help you maintain your relationships
Giving and getting the pleasure you want
Consent is about more than checking off a “yes” or “no.” Consent is about co-creating a pleasurable experience between you and another person, or other people. This involves paying close attention to what feels good to you and another person, and communicating about it! By doing this, we honor our own and others’ sexual citizenship: each of our right to our yes’s and no’s.
Check out Sexual Citizenship at Stanford to learn about 5 ways you can develop your sexual citizenship.
This fun, enlightening TED talk shows how we can think about sex like making pizza – full of options and pleasure! If you’re making pizza with another person, communication is essential to know what you and another person likes and doesn’t like. The same goes for sex or other intimate interactions. What feels good to both of you? What doesn’t feel good to each of you? Setting boundaries and saying “no” takes practice.
Check out the following resources to help navigate your own and others’ boundaries:
• Reflect on your personal boundaries in this Knowing your Yes’s & No’s activity
• Learn about the basics of consent, relationship-oriented consent, and community-oriented consent in the Building a Culture of Consent video series,